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About a month ago, my mind was wandering on a weekend. I was thinking a lot about all my failures with women. Megan McCauley, Haley Channing, Carrie Valentine, Sadie Rowland, Sasha Travis, Brianna Johns. I also was friends with a lot of beautiful, friendly women like Courtney Kohl who had absolutely no interest in me and always seemed to have boyfriends, and any such woman who broke up with her boyfriend always seemed to find another man immediately, sometimes before I even knew about the breakup. In a fit of frustration, I wrote a rough draft of a story about a guy who had my kind of luck with women. Then the school year started, and I got really busy, and put the rough draft aside.
Tonight, I managed to leave work by four o’clock with no grading to take home. No one interesting was online on Yahoo Chat, so with nothing to do tonight, I got that story back out and finished it.
“Dos Amigos”
By Gregory J. Dennison, August 20 – September 27, 1999
“Hi, Mark,” a voice said. Mark turned around to see who it belonged to.
“Hey, Rich,” he replied to the owner of the voice. “How’s it goin’?”
“Fine,” he said. “Wasn’t that a good sermon this morning?”
Mark thought. “Yeah, it was. Hey, is anyone going out to lunch today?”
“I hadn’t heard yet. Let me know if you can get people together.”
“Okay.” Mark looked around the patio in front of the church, turned to someone else, and greeted him. “Hey, Jeremy,” he said.
“Hey, Mark,” Jeremy said, turning around. “How’s life?”
“Pretty good. Do you know if anyone is going to lunch today?”
“I don’t think so. My roommates and I all have to study.” Jeremy paused. “Sorry.”
“Oh well,” Mark said
Mark next turned to a group of girls. He stood there and waited until one of them noticed him. It was Sarah. She waved at him, and he waved back.
“Hi,” Sarah said, quietly. Sarah was a relatively quiet girl, but not so much as to come across as unfriendly. “How are you?” she asked.
“Not bad,” Mark replied. “Hungry, though. Do you know if anyone is going to lunch?”
“I don’t know. I was just going to go home and take a nap.”
“I want to go to lunch too,” Sarah’s roommate, Katie, said as she turned around. Mark thought that Sarah and Katie were simultaneously very similar and very different, if that were possible. Both of them were very sweet, compassionate, nurturing people, the kind of people you want to have as friends. Yet the contrasts were noticeable as well. Sarah, for example, was not very popular with the opposite gender; guys saw her as a friend but as not much else. Mark could not remember her ever having a steady boyfriend; the closest thing was a rumor he had heard that she had gone out with his friend Dave and things had gone horribly wrong. Katie, on the other hand, had had three relationships, of varying lengths and degrees of seriousness, in the time he had known her. Strictly going by appearance, she fit the stereotype of the cute blonde.
“Hey, dude?” someone said to Mark. Mark turned around and saw Rich. “I think I’m just going to go home. Sorry about that.”
“Oh, well. Maybe next week. Have a good afternoon.”
“You too,” Rich said. Rich walked toward his car.
Mark turned to Katie and smiled. She smiled back. “Looks like it’s just you and I who want to go to lunch,” Mark said.
“Do you still want to go?”
This was not the response Mark expected. He expected one of the usual excuses, like “I have to go study,” or “I have to take a nap.” But the absence of an outright rejection caught him a little off guard. “Sure,” he said. “Did you have somewhere in mind?”
“Not really.”
“How about Dos Amigos? Our usual?”
“Sounds good. Do you want to walk over?”
“Sure.”
Most people considered Dos Amigos to be a Mexican restaurant. In reality, though, the food was more Southwestern Tex-Mex than real Mexican. Dos Amigos, being just three blocks from First Covenant Church, was always a popular destination for churchgoers to meet for lunch on Sunday afternoons. The restaurant was located in a strip mall, with both indoor and outdoor seating. A few people sat outdoors in the spring sunshine, but the majority of the customers that Sunday morning were eating indoors. Mark preferred eating indoors, since that way he did not have to walk as far to refill his drink or get more salsa for his chips.
Katie reached the front of the line after a wait of about five minutes, and Mark ordered shortly after she did. He ordered his usual, a Southwest Burrito with chicken and a Cherry Coke.
Mark walked over to the bowls of salsa. He spooned some onto his plate. “Do you want any?” he asked Katie. Katie nodded, and Mark spooned some onto her plate as well.
“Where do you want to sit?” Mark asked Katie.
Katie looked around. “I think I want to sit outside,” she said.
Mark followed Katie outside as she chose a table. He sat down across from her. “So how are classes going?” Mark asked.
“Not bad. I have a paper due Friday.”
“Let me guess. You haven’t started yet.”
Katie laughed. “You know me too well, Mark.”
A waitress came to their table carrying their food a few minutes later. As Mark bit into his burrito, Katie asked, “How are your classes?”
“Not bad. I have a midterm on Thursday, and I’m trying to figure out my classes for fall.”
“What are you going to take?”
“I’m not really sure yet. I need to make sure I take everything I need so that I can graduate at the end of next year.” Mark dipped a chip into the salsa, ate it, and continued. “Are you graduating next year too?”
“I’m not sure yet. It’ll depend on what classes I can get into.”
“That’s cool.” Mark’s conversation with Katie continued through lunch. He thought about how Katie was probably the closest female friend he had at the moment. After they finished their meal, Mark took his leftover salsa and dumped it on Katie’s plate. He took his fork and began to spread it around. Katie grabbed a cup of spicy green salsa that the people next to them had left behind when they finished; she poured this on top of Mark’s salsa and mixed the two together with her fork. Mark looked up at Katie and the two of them started laughing, simultaneously.
“Do you need a ride home?” Mark offered.
“Yeah, I do. Can I get a ride with you?”
“Of course,” Mark replied. He and Katie got up from their seat and walked back down the street, headed for the church parking lot where Mark’s car waited.
Mark felt a little nervous as he turned from the sidewalk and began walking through the apartment complex. It was not that he felt unwelcome; he just felt funny going to visit people just to say hi. He thought this was probably because no one ever visited him just to say hi, so he had never known any rules or etiquette for impromptu visits. Mark approached the apartment he was looking for and knocked on the door. Katie answered. “Hi, Mark!” she said, smiling. She gave Mark a hug. “What’s up?” she asked.
“Nothing. I was just out for a walk and thought I’d stop by.” That was not entirely false; he had just omitted the fact that his sole purpose for taking a walk was to visit Katie.
“Come on in,” Katie offered. He stepped into the living room of her apartment. Katie shared the largest of the apartment’s three bedrooms with Sarah, and two other girls each occupied their own bedrooms. No one other than Mark seemed to be visiting this household, an unusual occurrence considering that Katie’s apartment was usually one of the popular hangouts for people from First Covenant’s college group.
“You rearranged the living room,” Mark observed.
“No, that would just be the effect of the hallucinogenic plant next to you,” Katie replied. She laughed that cute little laugh of hers, and Mark laughed in return.
“That sounds like something I would say,” Mark replied, still laughing. He really liked a girl with a sense of humor, especially one with his sense of humor.
Katie sat down on the recently rearranged sofa and gestured for Mark to do the same. Mark looked into Katie’s watery blue eyes, thinking of what to say. After about five seconds, Mark uttered, “Uh-huh.”
“Uh-huh,” Katie replied.
“Mm-hmm.”
“Mm-hmm.”
Mark paused, and then laughed. Katie laughed back. Sarah, who had walked into the kitchen to get a drink of water, observed them and wondered what was so funny. Well, at least they both get it, the look on Sarah’s face seemed to say. Sarah indicated to Katie that she was going to bed, and Katie and then Mark wished her a good night.
Katie picked up a piece of paper, an advertisement for personalized mailing labels that Mark had found in his mailbox as well, and started tearing it as Mark talked about his upcoming midterm. When he finished, Katie said, “Have you ever noticed just how fun it can be to randomly tear up a piece of paper?”
Mark laughed. “Yeah, I have.”
Katie picked up the newspaper that was sitting on the coffee table. As she turned a page, Mark picked up the mailing label advertisement that Katie had torn a few minutes ago. He tore it, very carefully and neatly, almost across its entire length.
“What movies are playing this week?” Katie asked. Mark made a second tear in the advertisement, starting on the opposite side of the page from, and running parallel to, the first one. Just before he reached the other end of the paper, he began a third one, starting from the same side as the first and running parallel to the other two.
“Have you seen this?” Katie asked, gesturing to an advertisement for a movie.
“No, I haven’t,” Mark said. He remembered thinking that it was a definite date movie. He tore a fourth parallel line in the paper. The tears alternated starting from the right to the left, and each ended about half an inch from the opposite side of the page, so that the entire page was still connected. “Do you want to see it?” he asked as he continued tearing.
“Sure. When?”
“What are you doing tomorrow evening?”
“Nothing. That would work.”
“Sounds good,” Mark said. He held up the advertisement, now just eight loosely connected strips. It dangled down from his hand. He looked at Katie and smiled. “I’ll pick you up at six, then?” Katie looked down at the advertisement, then back up at Mark. She broke into laughter. Mark laughed as well.
Mark started feeling tired as he and Katie kept talking, but he felt like he was in a surreal world where time passes differently. Eventually, after a lull in the conversation, Mark yawned and looked at his watch. 2:02 in the morning. “Wow,” he said. “It’s late.”
“Yeah,” Katie replied.
“I should probably go to bed.”
“Good idea.”
“Tomorrow at six, right?”
“Right.”
Mark and Katie walked together to the middle of the theater. They got there just in time; the lights dimmed and the previews started just as they sat down. The first preview was for an action movie that looked really bad; the second was a movie with Leonardo DiCaprio that looked even worse. Mark turned to Katie and said, “Looks like I won’t be seeing many movies in the next few months.” Katie chuckled.
The movie started. Mark removed his hand from the arm rest in case Katie wanted to use it. As the movie started, Mark remembered the first time he saw this movie advertised. That movie looks interesting, Mark had thought, but a definite date movie. So I probably won’t see it… But here I am, he thought now.
Thirty minutes into the movie, Katie had not made use of the arm rest, so Mark placed his hand back there. He looked at Katie as if to make sure that this was okay, and she smiled. Shortly after this, Mark felt something brush up against his arm. He looked down to see that Katie was holding his hand. Mark looked at Katie, and she smiled. He tightened his grip for just half a second, to acknowledge her hand’s presence, and felt Katie, his closest female friend at the moment, do the same. Mark smiled through the rest of the movie.
As the movie ended, Mark became unsure of what to do, whether he should leave the theater arm in arm with Katie or just let go. He loosened his grip a little to see what would happen. He let Katie get up first, and she pulled his hand up with hers as she got up. Mark and Katie walked back to the lobby, holding hands.
“So what did you think?” Katie asked.
“I liked it. I didn’t think I was going to at first, but I liked it.”
“Good. I’m glad.” Katie looked in the other direction. “I have to go to the bathroom. Will you wait for me?”
“Of course.” Mark watched Katie enter the women’s room, her shoulder length blond hair gently swaying against her neck and upper back. Mark wondered exactly what would happen next.
Mark walked across the Quad, glad to be finished with his midterm. He scanned the Quad for familiar faces and spotted Katie and Sarah. He walked toward them. Katie spotted him first and waved.
“Hi, Mark,” Katie said when he was within earshot. “How was your midterm?”
“Easier than I thought,” he replied.
“Good! Do you have any more classes today?”
“No, I don’t. Do you?”
“Just one more, at four o’clock. I have another hour.”
“I have class at three,” Sarah interrupted. “I should probably go. See you at home tonight, Katie. See you later, Mark.”
“Bye, Sarah.” Mark watched as Sarah walked toward her class. Another familiar face walked by. Spotting the two of them, he approached and waved. Mark waved back. Katie turned around to see whom Mark was acknowledging.
“Hi, Jeremy,” she said.
“Hey, you two,” Jeremy said. “What are you up to?”
“I just had a midterm,” Mark explained. “It was easy.”
“Cool.”
“I have class in an hour,” Katie said.
“I’m actually late for class now, so I should probably go. Have a good day, guys.”
“Bye, Jeremy,” Katie said as Jeremy walked across the Quad.
“You’re working on your paper tonight, right?” Mark said.
“Yeah. It’s going to be really quiet at our house tonight. All four of us have big things due tomorrow. We’re going to have a study night.”
Mark pulled a handful of grass from the lawn. “Sounds cool. I probably shouldn’t come over, since I don’t have anything to study, and I don’t want to distract you.” he said. He sprinkled the grass in Katie’s hair, knowing she would not mind.
“Yeah. That’s probably a good idea.” Katie picked up a clump of grass comparable in size to Mark’s and sprinkled it in Mark’s hair. Mark picked up two dead leaves he saw behind him and put them on Katie’s head. Katie took the leaves and placed them behind her ears as if they were pencils. The two of them both laughed.
Mark checked his watch. “I should go catch the bus now. I hope you do well on your paper.” As Mark stood up, Katie stood up with him and hugged him good-bye.
“Bye, Mark,” Katie said. “Have a good day.”
“You too.” Mark smiled. “Are we still on for lunch tomorrow?”
“Sure.”
Mark looked down at his greasy piece of pizza from the student union. They made really good pizza, except that it was a bit greasy sometimes. Katie had ordered a salad. “How did your paper go?” Mark asked.
“I think I did okay. I didn’t spend a whole lot of time on it.”
“I know.” The two of them laughed.
“Something funny happened this morning,” Katie said. “I saw Jeremy on his way to class… You heard about last night, didn’t you?”
An image ran through Mark’s head. It was a scene from the first Star Wars movie, the one where Obi-Wan Kenobi tells Luke Skywalker that he senses a disturbance in the Force. “No,” Mark answered.
“Jeremy and I are dating now.”
Mark shifted his eyes a few degrees to the right of Katie’s face. He continued looking at this random spot for a full five seconds before refocusing on Katie. “Oh,” he said.
“Yeah. He was over last night while we were studying, and we were talking, and found out we were both interested in each other.”
Mark took a bite of his pizza as both he and Katie seemed to forget whatever she was going to tell him about seeing Jeremy on his way to class. Then Mark took another bite. “What classes do you have this afternoon?” he asked.
“Just English. At two.”
“I’m done with class for today.”
Mark and Katie continued with their lunches. Mark’s bites of pizza continued to be punctuated by long stares into space. Eventually he finished his pizza. Sarah walked past and, noticing them, came over to say hi.
Mark looked at his watch. “I need to go,” he said.
“Bye, Mark,” Katie said, giving him the customary hug.
“Bye,” Sarah added.
As Mark walked away, Mark could hear Katie talking to Sarah. Katie said, “Mark was acting a little strange today. I wonder if anything was wrong?”
As the printer finished printing, I looked at the title page and wondered how many other writers had named a story after a favorite restaurant. The title carried a double meaning, though. “Dos Amigos” was Spanish for “two friends,” as Mark and Katie clearly were at the end of the story. Just two friends. Other than Mark clearly being me, each character did not necessarily represent one person in my life, and while parts of the story had actually happened to me, I had never been rejected by someone who had acted so blatantly like she liked me.
Not yet, at least.
Readers: Now only 16 episodes left! (This number is subject to change, because while I have a broad outline of the rest of the story, some of my ideas may get edited out, and I may find a need to add another episode or two.)
What’s the most unexpected way you’ve ever been rejected? Tell me about it in the comments.
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[Pearl Jam – Nothingman]



